Link to music in title*
It came to my attention today that my past scares people. According to Stefan my past is extreme, therefore I am extreme and so, I am too much for many men to handle. But here's the thing, I'm just a person and they're just people. We all have pasts and if we can't look at who we are today and relate to one another in our humanity and our mortality then what the fuck are we doing? Yes I have a strange and bizarre past. Yes I understand not everyone can handle it. But look at me NOW. I'm just a girl who wants someone to hold her hand. I just want passion in the bedroom (or in the kitchen, or the couch or whatever) and someone to exist with. I don't want anything extravagant. I don't want your drugs, money, or jewelry. I want you to hug me. I want you to hold my hand while we're walking down the street. I want you to laugh with me. I don't want to be some guy's sexual experiment or anybody's fuck buddy. I'm not saying that I'm perfect or that I have even the slightest clue as to what I'm doing right now. I know I still have issues. I'm sorry if I'm not bright and shiny. I have a fear of rejection. I have daddy issues and abandonment issues. So when I say hold my hand I mean it both figuratively and literally. If you don't I'll feel like it's me. That it somehow means that I'm not good enough. Is that my past, squirming its way into my present? Maybe. But, that's who I am. But someone amazing once said "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best" And trust me, you want to know me at my best.
